Why Am I Doing So Much?
As many of you know if you keep with me, there is quite a bit on my plate at the moment. I am working two jobs (University Counselor and Instructor’s Assistant for Grand Canyon University), I am studying for two masters (Masters of Divinity from Nazarene Theological Seminary and Masters of Addiction Counseling from Grand Canyon University), and of course in full time recovery (this entails meetings, doing a 12 step program, going to counseling, and sponsoring other alcoholics/addicts). Sometimes the work gets overwhelming and I start to question what the point of doing all this is. Even in my last counseling session, my counselor asked me the purpose for each thing I am doing, and I was so stressed out that I was unable to answer him. I am working full-time at GCU because I need the money to survive and I enjoy helping people reach their academic goals. I am working part-time as an Instructor’s Assistant because I love doing it and because I need the money for my upcoming wedding. With working at GCU, I get a tuition benefit of getting my Masters of Addiction Counseling for free, so I am doing that now. I love going to school for Divinity because I get to dive into the Bible, which reveals more of who God is to me. However, this is a heavy workload for even something I love. I am active in recovery because I need that to stay sober.
Tonight reminded me why I am taking on so much at once. I am helping another alcoholic/addict through their step work as their sponsor. This is a large responsibility and another commitment. However, meeting with him tonight showed my why I do what I do. After our introductions, I explained to him what my sponsorship looks like and how it will be influenced by my counseling/psychology and Christian studies/divinity background. We then got to talking about different counseling techniques and did some readings. Our reading of a few pages ended up taking an hour, if not more. We kept stopping to breakdown what we have just read. I was able to bring in psychology, counseling, scientific studies, and Christianity into recovery and how it all ties in with each other. Our connection was beyond what words could comprehend. I was able to teach and minister, the two things I love the most. I went in with a negative outlook and very tired from finishing up 3 hours of homework. When I left, I was inspired, motivated, and rejuvenated.
I take on so much so that I can do what I love and to help people grow. My strengths are teaching and encouraging. I am able to do this because of all the hard work I put into my work and my studies. Though at times the amount of work I do causes me stress, I know it is bettering me so I can better others. I know what God has called me to do and as long as I am in accordance with His will, I know He will work all things for my good.