Self-awareness is important when we are trying to improve in both our areas of strengths and areas of weaknesses. We have to make sure we are building our strengths, while also working and acknowledging our points of weakness. Through many years of getting counseling, taking spiritual formation classes, and taking time to get to know myself, I have come to the realization, that I am a unique person. There are very few out there like me, which is not a good or bad thing. It is just a thing. I appreciate and love myself for who God made me to be and is still making me into. I have taken so many personality exams through my schooling and written reports about my “style” to take some time to sit back and reflect on who I am. Now, I am not saying these labels defined who I am, but they help me see blind spots and help me realize areas where I shine. Here are a couple of those labels.
Type A
I have a type A personality. This means I generally experience a higher stress level than others. I absolutely hate failure or feeling inadequate. For this reason, it is difficult for me not to overwork myself, even when I have accomplished my goals. I can get impatient with delays, I keep a tight schedule, and I do more than one thing at a time. I set high expectations for myself, and with this I set high expectations for those around me. I do not know how to relax and take it easy.
ISFJ-Defender
The Myers-Briggs test identifies me as an ISFJ. The initials stand for introverted, observant, feeling, and judging. I am reserved; however, I have well-developed people skills. I am sensitive yet have analytical abilities to be able to see different angles to the same situation. I am meticulous in my work, almost to the point of being a perfectionist. I procrastinate on small thing or things that don’t have my attention, yet I always get the work done on time. I take my responsibilities personally, so I go above and beyond to exceed expectations. I tend to like to work behind the scenes and underplay my accomplishments. An issue I have is being able to say “no” and stand up for myself. I have a horrible memory, yet I have the ability to remember people and details about their lives.
Enneagram 2: The Helper
Adjectives that can fit the Helper include generous, demonstrative, people-pleasing, and possessive. I have the basic fear of feeling unworthy of being loved with the basic desire to feel love. I have a one-wing, which also makes me a servant. I love going above and beyond to helping people. I am loyal to those I help. For instance, as a youth pastor, I am very concerning with my students. I will advocate for what I believe is best for them, even it makes me look like a bad person. I can be loving, helpful, generous, and considerate when healthy. When I’m not healthy, I slip into people-pleasing. I like to express appreciation to others. I like to encourage others and build them up. This is why I thrived as a Case Manager. When I was unhealthy, I thought I had to always put others first. This made me feel unloved and unappreciated. Once I learned to love myself, I could be a healthy helper.
Outgoing Introvert
A common misconception is that an introvert does not like people, is afraid to share their opinion, and is shy. That is not true. Being an introvert just means that people around a large amount of people drains you. I get recharged with my alone time and I highly enjoy my alone time. I am not shy. I am very outgoing. I can take charge when need be. I have a small group of close friends and I have a wide circle of acquaintances.
CliftonStrengths
Back in college, student leaders took a strengths test. My top is individualization. This means I am intrigued with the unique qualities of a person and seeing how different people can work together productively. Next was responsibility. After that, I got developer, which means I like to recognize and cultivate potential in others. My fourth top was achiever.
Spiritual Gifts
I have taken several spiritual gifts tests throughout my undergraduate program and during my seminary program. My top four, I believe, can be summarized to this: Shepherding, teaching, serving, and administration. I love shepherding and mentoring the next generation. I like to do life with them and see what joy it can be when we live for Christ. I have a passion for teaching whether it be in ministry or in an academic setting as demonstrated by my work as a youth pastor and my experience as an Instructor’s Assistant for Grand Canyon University. Serving gives me purpose. I put others needs before my wants. I do what I can to show people they are loved, they are worth it, and they are not alone. Lastly, I love doing administrative work. I love being organized, event planning, keeping records, and even make excel spreadsheets.