Posts in Mental Health
4 Lies Bipolar Depression Tells You About Recovery

A journey through recovery from bipolar depression is like surfing on the ocean. There are waves and seasons in life. Sometimes the waves seem higher than you can manage. Sometimes there are no waves and you are just wading in the water. You have to learn how to surf and manage those waves. When you are in the midst of a wave that seems like a juggernaut, your depression starts talking, and talking loudly. It tells you that you are unlovable, a screw up, worthless, and more. Your reality becomes a distorted perspective of reality. Here are some lies my depression tells me when I am surfing a large wave that seems to have no end.

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5 Tips For Loving Somebody With Bipolar Depression

There are several sources for somebody with Bipolar Depression to learn to love themselves from self-help books to the Bible to therapy to more. However, there are limited sources available for people who love somebody with Bipolar Depression. You could be a family member, a significant other, or a friend and not know how to respond in love to somebody struggling with Bipolar Depression. I know sometimes it is difficult for my family and my girlfriend to know what I need when I am going through an episode, and it is difficult for me to articulate what I need at that moment. Here are some tips for how to love somebody with Bipolar Depression.

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Mental HealthJohn Fernandes
God Healed My Depression

 From a year ago to ever since I can remember, I always struggled with depression. There was low self-image, self-esteem, self-compassion, and self-love. I had no sense of self-worth. Most days, I passively tossed around the idea of suicide. Even when I wasn’t suicidal, fleeting thoughts like “what would happen if I was not here anymore” would cross my mind several times a day. I thought I was good for nothing except to be another statistic of people who took their own lives. Nobody would see it coming. I looked as though I was happy and had my life together on the outside. On the inside, I wanted to die.

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Where Have I Been This Past Year

Last summer, I graduated Summa Cum Laude with an Honors BS in Psychology and an Honors BA in Christian Studies with a minor in Worship Arts. I had a few job offers both inside and outside of ministry for after I graduated. I was working in youth ministry at my church and had my local ministers license. It seemed like I had everything together. On the inside, I was falling apart. After 2 years of sobriety from alcohol, I started drinking again at my grandma’s funeral. It started off small, and soon became a problem once again. I was spending almost every night at the bar after classes. I would find any reason to drink. I was trying to cover up the deep depression I was experiencing. Summer hit and I graduated. I had no job and no school to keep me distracted from my depression.

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Am I Leaving Ministry?

A few nights ago, I started thinking of all the reasons I can’t be a pastor. The small voice in my head became louder and louder. I was again on the verge of dropping out of my MDiv program. I thought what is the use, I could never be a pastor. I could never picture me as a pastor or in ministry. These were lies the enemy was telling me. To combat it, I reached out to a few people I trusted to see if there was truth in the voices or not.

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